The season has arrived where we are all bustling around trying to find the right "gift." We are so blessed...we have no real needs at this time in our lives. We lose sight of the real meaning of Christmas with all the commercializing and plans and parties. Those things aren't bad but they can serve as distractions. The real meaning of Christmas is Jesus. He is the gift, and very often....and not just at Christmas time, I am reminded of a special gift he brought into my life. It is a gift of life and I am certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is the reason for the sustaining of that life. See, there was a time in my life back in 1992 that I had a real need. I needed the Lord desperately. Like I had never needed him before. The need was for the Lord to heal my son.
Blake was born a month early and whisked two hours away to a neonatal unit because he couldn't breathe on his own. I never held him before he was taken. I could only reach under the oxygen tent and stroke his struggling, tiny, little body. He was our only child. We had waited a long time for this moment and suddenly I found myself faced with the realization that I might not bring him home. I was so afraid, so frustrated, as he was in Memphis alone and I was still hours away due to my own complications.
I'll never forget the first day I was released and went to see him. He looked so vulnerable and I had no reassurance that he would begin to breathe on his own. The doctors simply said "We are doing all we can." "All we can" is a very scary place to be. I needed hope. I needed reassurance that my baby was going to be alright. As I arrived home that afternoon there was a room full of family and friends there to greet us, and yet for me one important person was missing...and it hit me hard. I was so desperate and heart broken that I bypassed every good intentioned person and went straight to my bedroom and cried out to God. I clung to my bible and begged the Lord to show me, to assure me that he was going to save my son and that he would be whole. Can I just tell you that he is FAITHFUL. I randomly opened my bible to Isaiah chapter 12 verse 2 and this is what the Lord spoke into my fearful, broken heart..."Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song." He has also become my salvation." In that moment..I knew. The Lord gave me that peace that surpasses all understanding. A peace that the world can't give. "We are doing all we can" turned into... ‘"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." We went to many appointments through the next few years..would the hole in his heart close?..with God all things are possible. Would he have brain damage or his eye sight be compromised from the oxygen?...with God all things are possible. Would he grow up to be a healthy, strong, kind, saved by the grace of God young man? I think you can see for yourself that he did. I am so very grateful that the Lord proved himself to be Jehovah Rapha- "The Lord that healeth thee."
He's grown into a wonderful young man and I am so privileged that the Lord chose me and blessed me with the honor of being his mother. He's falling in love with a beautiful young woman that has a heart for Jesus...and for my boy. Her name is Carrie. He made his momma happy this weekend when he made it a point to help put up the Christmas tree and spend some special "memory making" time together as a family.
If I could go back and tell my 25 year old self that he would be where he is today..completely whole, healed and living a blessed life...I would. But the Lord was taking me on a faith journey and when you are trusting your greatest "gift" to him..you just have to take a deep breath and remind yourself that he loves him even more than you do. He loved him enough to hang on a cross so that he could save him for all eternity.